There’s One Part of the ‘Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing?’ Convo We’re Not Talking About: Mal de Ojo

Recently, Vogue published an article titled “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” and boy, did it spark an uproar. Social media was flooded with reactions and hot takes. But there’s one detail the piece touched on that hasn’t been fully unpacked yet, something especially familiar in Latinx communities: el mal de ojo.

So, let’s unpack this.

You know how everyone says, “Don’t post your man until you have a ring”?
Or, “Keep your relationship private so no one sends bad energy”?

We laugh about it, but for many of us, that belief comes from something mal de ojo.

In our culture, mal de ojo isn’t just superstition. It’s the belief that envy or bad energy from others can mess with your peace, block blessings, or bring harm.

As Latinas, we grow up hearing our moms and abuelas say, “no presumas tanto,” don’t show too much, don’t talk too soon, protect what’s sacred. We’ve seen how envy shows up in little ways through comments, looks, backhanded compliments, or that silent comparison that makes you question your joy, or even the fear that someone might want or take your man. And honestly, these things do happen.

This comes up all the time in my therapy work with women. They say they don’t post their partners because they’ve “learned their lesson.” They shared too soon once, then had to delete everything, or they just don’t want to deal with people’s opinions.

And honestly, I get it. Social media can be harsh. People can be cruel. Protecting your peace isn’t being dramatic. It’s something many of us learned early on, a survival habit passed down through generations. Many of us grew up watching our families keep things quiet, stay small, and avoid attention just to stay safe.

But here’s what I remind my clients and myself: not posting doesn’t mean you’re hiding something. Sometimes it just means you’re honoring your boundaries.

Before you decide to share or not, ask yourself why.
Do you want to feel connected and celebrate your relationship?
Or are you trying to protect yourself from judgment or fear of jinxing what feels good?

There’s no right or wrong answer. You don’t owe the internet your relationship. You don’t owe anyone proof that you’re happy. You get to choose what feels safe to share and what stays just between you and your people.

I’ve had those same talks with my husband and my family. What do I want to show, and what’s just for us? I believe in protecting energy. I believe mal de ojo and envy are real. But I also believe in self-trust, in learning to tell the difference between intuition and fear.

For many Latinas, privacy isn’t about embarrassment. It’s about protection. We grew up learning that peace and safety weren’t guaranteed. Sometimes staying quiet was how our families survived. So yes, we might be cautious, not because we’re ashamed of love, but because we’ve learned to protect it.

So next time you think about posting your partner, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself: what’s my intention, what’s my boundary, and what’s sacred?

Whether you post or keep it private, let it come from awareness, not fear.
Protect your peace, but remember you’re also allowed to be seen when it feels right.

Cynthia Flores is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Host of the Heal & Manifest Podcast. She helps Latinas and cycle breakers heal generational trauma, build self-worth, and create emotionally healthy relationships through a culturally rooted, trauma-informed lens. Her work blends real talk, storytelling, and healing education to empower mujeres to live authentically and with intention.

Instagram: @cynthiafloreslmftWebsite: www.cynthiagflores.com